Top Ten Reasons for Everyone to be Happy Next Tuesday

November 2, 2024

Always the optimist, herewith from your modern-day Dr. Pangloss, a Top Ten List for the ages:

10. Losing involves the joy of a righteous indignity over knowing while being misunderstood

9.      For half of us the result is a disaster, but we get to see what a bigger disaster the other side will make of winning, and we are guaranteed not to be disappointed

8.      It’s poetic, the Worst job in the World has now been filled by the worst candidate in the World

7.      YOU were not elected

6.      There are 365 x 4 +1 = 1461 days until we must do this again which means only 1460 days of campaigning to go

5.      We have tested the limits of the difference between winning and losing and found there are none

4.      If the one you wanted to win did not, that means your favorite will not be sitting in The Hot Seat when the crash happens

3.      The World is divided into two kinds of people: Those who believe voting matters and those who believe the World is divided into two kinds of people

2.      There is no downside. The race to the bottom is over. We are already there

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON TO BE HAPPY NEXT TUESDAY IS:

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(Wait for it)

1.      It’s for the children