Calexit

Instant mass deportation

[My idea of the perfect - and SHORT - inaugural address]

My fellow Americans:

Well, it seems I am back. There are some changes ahead.

About Elon. I agree, a Wild and Crazzzzzeeee Guy. But he has a talent missing in all but a few. He can do math AND make money. He has no time for featherbedding, slacker Sociology majors drawing a paycheck for doing nothing. I plan to let him have his head and do what he thinks is best. He knows the real meaning of “work from home” - go back to where you originally came from and get a real job. No more rent-seeking. Washington DC bureaucrats born in Topeka go back to Topeka. Trust me, we will all be better off.

There is talk about some states seceding from the Union. I am all for it. We start with California. There is no evidence that this clownship adds anything of value, net of its liabilities. Today I call on Congress to expel California from the Union. California already has their own immigration plan and special way of counting ballots. They can pay tariffs for any and all they export to the rest of the remaining US. We don’t need ‘em.

This will require a minor adjustment in the Wall. At the southwest corner of Arizona the Wall will make a right turn north and continue up the east side of California, turning again, left naturally, at the point where Oregon begins, and continuing on to the Pacific Ocean. We will leave a single door in that portion of the wall with a lock keyed only on our side. Everyone arriving in our country without a passport from anywhere will be ushered out of the US through that door. California can continue upon its merry path to becoming a sanctuary state of tent cities. Let them eat tax.

They are already prepared. The capital of the new nation can be Calexico! They have a governor who wants to be president. He gets his wish without having to move. Perfect!

California does not believe in private property. Let’s see how far they get with all their new friends from other kleptocracy countries that act the same way. Everything in California can be free for a while. They can devour all their resources and become Haiti. Henceforth, they take nothing from the rest of the US. The lab experiment that California represents can be a constant message to other states that have no respect for American values of hard work and the concept of owning private property purchased with the fruits of that work.

The complement to rent seeking, pampered bureaucrats is crony capitalism. This also ends today. No more corporate welfare. If you run your company butt-stupid and lose all your investors’ money, don’t come crying to the government to bail you out. And, no more academic welfare. If you spend a lot of money at a school that teaches you underwater snake charming, plan to pay back student loans with your Starbucks paychecks.

The message I bring you today is: The Land of the Free is reverting to The Land of the Responsible. Deal with it.

You can thank me later.